Peace is Boring. War is exciting.

The faint drumbeat of a new war with Iran is on the horizon, and we need the will of the people to thrust us forward into the next great conflict.

The time is now to choose sides. Will you be among our friends, cheering us on to war, urging the bombing of our new enemy?

Or will you be a naysayer? Do you want to be inside, warm, by the fire, having fun, smiling and laughing with the beautiful popular people who support the war?

Or will you cast yourself into the grey, rainy, cold outside, shivering with the dirty, poor, ugly, and unpopular people who oppose war? The misfits.

Do you remember the excitement of “Shock and Awe”? watching our military technology destroy a city in a faraway land?

We can have that excitement again.
Peace, you see is nothing. Peace is Bor-ing, lazy, unheroic, chicken-livered nonsense. War allows mankind to achieve its maximum potential.

War is stimulating, exciting. War is a reason to live. War is medals and bravery, high ratings on the evening news, fabulous graphics, awe-inspiring music queues to be played when a major attack is reported.

War is heart-wrenching interviews with families of the fallen, sensitive introspective stories about the nature of humankind. War is Pulitzer prizes, my dear journalist friends.

And so it is you, the media, who will cheerlead us on to war, because without war, you journalists will be covering a pumpkin festival in North Dakota.

You will cheerlead us on to war because perhaps your network is owned by a defense contractor.

You will cheerlead us on to war because the wealthy bosses at your network sit on boards with other wealthy industrialists who will profit handsomely from war, and your wealthy bosses tell you exactly what to say.

My journalist friends, when you’re trying to decide which way to steer public opinion, weigh the reality of high ratings, Peabodys, Emmys, and Pulitzers…or pumpkin festivals.

War is exciting my friends. Peace is like watching paint dry.

In overseas news, we are 6 months away from total victory in Iraq.

You will continue to support President George W. Bush and you will report the names of any persons heard criticizing the president, the party, or the war.

Have a pleasant evening.